Compassion is what happens when kindness meets suffering.

In Part 1 of this series, we explored self-compassion practice as the foundation for personal growth – the practice of accepting yourself as you are before attempting to change and choosing a compassionate attitude even when it doesn’t come naturally. So, in this second part, we’ll explore a practical compassion practice you can try whenever you notice suffering in yourself.

Self-Compassion as a Choice

Compassion arises when kindness meets suffering. The moment you notice a feeling of struggle – worry, irritation, doubt or pain – you have the opportunity to choose a self-compassion practice.

Importantly, however, you don’t need to feel compassion at the start. Compassion is not primarily a feeling; rather it is a decision and an intention: to meet whatever you notice with care, concern and attention.

A Guided Self-Compassion Practice

You can practice this seated, lying down, or even walking slowly. Allow at least 5–15 minutes, and remember: this is a gentle exploration, not a performance.

1. Come into the body
   • Begin by bringing attention to your body, noticing physical sensations as they are.
   • Ground yourself in the present moment: your feet on the floor, your body supported by the chair or surface beneath you.
2. Rest attention on the heart
   • Bring your focus to the center of your chest.
   • Check in with your inner “weather.” What is present right now? Irritation, doubt, worry, contentment? Whatever it is, simply notice it without judgment.
3. Acknowledge and accept
   • Whatever feelings arise, accept them as they are. There is no need to force warmth, kindness, or compassion yet. You are simply noticing.
4. Intend compassion
   • Compassion is not so much a feeling as an intention toward what you notice. You can express it through phrases such as:
     • • “May I be free from suffering.”
       • “May I be soothed.”
       • “I care that you’re hurting.”
         Breathe in these phrases, letting them express your intention toward yourself.
     • Images, such as:
       • Visualise a person, pet, or moment of care that has comforted you in the past.
       • Imagine the kindness you received then, and offer it now to yourself.
   • If offering compassion to yourself feels difficult, begin with someone or something you naturally feel compassion for – a person, an animal, a cherished pet. Send the compassion to them first, then gently see if you can transfer it to yourself, or even address both at once: “May we be free from suffering,” “May we be soothed.”
5. Include resistance and discomfort
   • Compassion can feel “wrong” or uncomfortable, especially if you have a strong inner critic or are prone to shame and negative self-judgment. But do it anyway. Those feelings are not the truth – everyone merits compassion.
   • Notice the resistance, discomfort, or inner objection and wrap it in compassion. Often, this is a hurt younger part of you that needs care more than anyone.
   • Compassion can hold everything – even emotions we feel are “out of place,” uncomfortable, or unwelcome. Nothing is outside the realm of compassion.
6. Notice the effect
   • Compassion practice does not always feel “nice.” Sometimes it brings up unexpected emotions. That is normal.
   • Observe whatever arises with gentle attention, knowing that allowing space for these feelings is part of the practice.
7. Return and rest
   • When you feel ready, return your focus to your body, your breath, and the environment around you.
   • Notice any subtle shifts – a little ease, a new perspective, or simply the fact that you allowed yourself to meet your suffering with intention.

Integrating the Practice

• Start small: Even a few minutes when you notice discomfort can begin to retrain your mind and body.
• Repeat often: Compassion strengthens with consistent practice.
• Combine with therapy: Bringing your experiences from this meditation into sessions can deepen self-understanding and emotional integration.

The Takeaway

Self-compassion is an active choice, not a passive feeling. So when we notice suffering, in ourselves or in life, we can decide to respond with care, meeting our inner experience with attention, concern and acceptance.

If offering compassion to yourself feels difficult, it’s okay to start with someone or something you naturally care about, then transfer that care inward. Remember: no feeling is outside the reach of compassion – even anger, fear, shame or resistance can be met with gentle, intentional care. And often, these difficult emotions point to parts of yourself that need compassion most.

If you’d like guidance in building self-compassion practice into your daily life, I would be honoured to support you. In therapy with me, we can explore your inner patterns, practice compassion together and make this attitude of care a steady presence in your personal growth.

You can learn more about my approach or book a session. Choosing self-compassion is not just an idea, it is a practice, and it can begin now.